2002's Articles

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5th January 2002 - Jim Hedgehog's Supernatural Christmas - a Review! I realise that the Christmas season is almost over, so I thought I'd best squeeze this in while I could!

15th January 2002 - Marsquake - a Game That Should Never Be Forgotten! This game was a masterpiece of Archimedes programming. Here I insult it.

17th January 2002 - The Interesting Parallels Between Eternia and the USSR! I suggest that He-Man would have made a better revolutionary than Lenin.

18th January 2002 - Was He-Man Really Like Lenin? Because of the rich and interesting debate that resulted from yesterday's article, I am here able to argue my case much more clearly, for all those Tories who didn't understand it. I would recommend reading yesterday's article before you read this one.

19th January 2002 - Is Spider Solitaire the Best Computer game Ever? Yes. Of course it is. Here's why.

22nd January 2002 - The New Political System! Fascism, communism, the monarchy and anarchy have all failed. Democracy is failing. Here's what I propose!

6th February 2002 - Repton 3: The Life of Repton! This computer game for the Archimedes was worse than Marsquake. Learn how this can be!

8th February 2002 - 'A Trip To Morainia' Reviewed! This He-Man episode comes under the spotlight!

12th February 2002 - Was He-Man A Badger? In this remarkably subtle allegory of current events at York University, I suggest that He-Man was, in fact, not a badger.

16th February 2002 - Moulin Rouge Reviewed! Last night Moulin Rouge was shown at the student cinema. I didn't get in, but I review it anyway!

25th February 2002 - Why Taste the Difference Is A Really Stupid Slogan! Whoever came up with that slogan has really inspired my ire this evening (or morning, whatever it is)!

3rd March 2002 - Breathless' Snappy Lyrics! And yes, the lyrics to Breathless, by the Corrs, are snappy. They're unfortunately also nonsensical. Here's why.

3rd March 2002 - 'Disappearing Dragons' Reviewed! Another He-Man episode review for you!

1st April 2002 - Heath the Rat's Puzzle Page! Fun diversions for the mentally challenged!

7th April 2002 - The Archers: Their Seditious Capitalism! This is why the Archers are more than a dull radio programme!

22nd April 2002 - The Unsung Hero of Eternia! He-Man wasn't the real hero. Someone else was.

30th April 2002 - Thomas the Tank Engine: A Symbol of Repression? Some rather worrying political incorrectnesses in Thomas the Tank Engine!

30th April 2002 - Heath the Rat's Guide to Crystal Healing! Which isn't, as you might have expected, very useful.

9th May 2002 - A Review of 'Is This It', the new album by the Strokes! Although it is, shall we say, mildly unfocused.

17th May 2002 - Star Wars II - Attack of the Clones Reviewed! And yes, I have actually seen the film in question this time.

27th May 2002 - Turtles at the Earth's Core Reviewed! A masterpiece of a Turtles episode comes under my discerning spotlight!

18th June - Did Postman Pat kill JFK? I present the evidence. I come to a conclusion!

25th June - A Review of Valerie's Gig! Peter writes about his wonderful time!

25th June - How To Not Be Bored! Some helpful suggestions from Peter!

16th August 2002 - The Ineptitude of King Rollo! Learn why King Rollo would have been overthrown by a communist revolution!

20th August 2002 - He-Man's New Series Under The Spotlight! A new series of He-Man premiered in the US last night - read all about it here!

6th September 2002 - Diamond Ray of Disappearance Reviewed! The first episode of the original He-Man series comes under the spotlight!

6th September 2002 - Another Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles Episode Review! Isn't it simply amazing how much useless information my mind can store?

6th September 2002 - Did the Poor in Early Modern England eat Sausages? I study a vast historical conundrum!

16th September 2002 - Why Aren't Cats Dogs? You've probably never considered this question. Well, I have.

18th September 2002 - Heath the Rat's Guide to Writing the Perfect CV! Follow this advice and you're almost guaranteed to get you the job you want! (Note that I said 'almost'.)

22nd September 2002 - 'Ice Cream Technology - Its Use And Abuse' Reviewed! I purchased this book for 10 pence, and it wasn't even worth that!

25th September 2002 - The Teddy Bears' Picnic - A Gathering of Deceased Bears? Read this article and view this childrens' song in an entirely new light!

9th October 2002 - The Existence of the Fabled Blue Mairpus - Revealed! A new and deadly breed of mairpus has come to haunt our dreams ...

9th October 2002 - What Benefit did Man-E-Faces Bring to He-Man? I consider this question, I come up with an answer.

10th October 2002 - How did Magic Painting Books Work, Then? It's actually a very difficult question to answer.

11th October 2002 - The Wonders of Daytime Television! What I think we should do about it.

14th October 2002 - The New Adventures of He-Man! The little-regarded (for good reason) early 1990s He-Man series comes under the spotlight!

25th October 2002 - Transformers and My Little Pony! Two classic TV series', neither of which I can remember anything about!

2nd November 2002 - Why Doesn't Angel Have Any Legs? Angel, of Buffy fame, gets literally legless!

15th November 2002 - 'The Little Mermaid' Reviewed, Part 1 of 2! It's a long and mindbogglingly stupid film. I loved it. Well, loved is perhaps too strong a word. Despised, perhaps.

16th November 2002 - 'The Little Mermaid' Reviewed, Part 2 of 2! The conclusion of my perhaps overcritical review!

30th November 2002 - Why isn't the ending sequence for FreeCell better? I play FreeCell a lot, but I really am dissatisfied with the end product!

4th December 2002 - 'Jane Eyre' Reviewed! I may not have read Jane Eyre for about four years, but I can still review it.

5th December 2002 - How did He-Man's sword work? A very important scientific discussion!

7th December 2002 - Tekken: the most irritating computer game I've yet encountered! And here is why.

7th December 2002 - Why Krang and Shredder never won! Several very plausible reasons!

9th December 2002 - 'Castle Grayskull Under Attack!' Reviewed, Part 1 of 2! When Skeletor sets in motion a plan to create an ocean next to Castle Grayskull, can even He-Man defeat him?

15th December 2002 - 'Castle Grayskull Under Attack!' Reviewed, Part 2 of 2! The long-awaited conclusion to this review of a less than marvellous literary accomplishment.

23rd December 2002 - Why do people buy Big Mouth Billy Bass? Answer: because they're stupid.