- by Owen Morton
Okay. If we’re going to be completely and utterly honest, the connection between Yu-Gi-Oh and Tazos isn’t actually all that secret. But before I can reveal to you the connection between these two mystical entities, some form of definition is going to have to be given.
The first term in the title above presented that needs defining is Yu-Gi-Oh. Sadly, I don’t have the remotest conception of what Yu-Gi-Oh is, the limit of my experience with Yu-Gi-Oh being the story which I related to you at some point in November when I encountered this mysterious programme while waiting for the new series of He-Man to come on. (In case you don’t remember, this experience consisted of a mental children’s television programme presenter saying every five minutes or so that Yu-Gi-Oh would be on after He-Man.) However, as far as I can make out, Yu-Gi-Oh is some form of Japanese cartoon, probably very much like Pokemon and equally rubbish things. I hope that is a sufficient definition, because if it’s not, it’s still the best you’re going to get.
The second thing in the title that needs a definition is, of course, Tazos (unless you’re really stupid, or don’t speak English, and think that the word ‘and’ needs defining, in which case, either go away and get some brains or go away and come back when you can read this to a reasonably intelligent level). Now, Tazos we might have slightly more success with. They have, as anyone who has encyclopaedic knowledge of this website, appeared once before, back in April last year, when I was talking about Pogs. However, they only received a cursory mention then, and now the time has probably come to talk about Tazos in more depth.
So. Tazos were Walkers Crisps’ answer to Pogs, Pogs being, as we will all recall, the stupid little cardboard disks that you were supposed to collect the entire bloody set of. Tazos were even more pointless, though, as I remember them, because they didn’t even come disguised as some stupid form of game. They did, however, have tiny little slots at regular intervals around their edges, which – if you were really really bored – you could use to slot two Tazos together, and you could thus make hugely exciting sculptures with them. The first series of Tazos featured all the Loony Tunes characters, such as Bugs Bunny and his collection of moronic friends, while the second had lots of stupid scenes from the Star Wars films, released as they were at the same time as the release of the digitally remastered original Star Wars films. Coincidence or canny marketing? I really don’t know.
So there we have it. My entire knowledge on the subject of both Yu-Gi-Oh and Tazos. It’s all very exciting, as I’m sure you’ll agree. Still, there is yet time and space in this article for me to reveal that wonderful secret connection to which I referred in the title of the article. As I did say, however, this secret connection isn’t actually hugely secret. But it is still really interesting and well worth your continuing to the end of the article to find out what it is.
Yesterday afternoon, I bought a packet of Walkers French Fries. In said packet of French Fries was a … guess what? Come on, try and guess. Go on, you’ll never get it … Yes, it was a Tazo. How did you know? More specifically, it was Tazo Number 6 in the new Yu-Gi-Oh Tazo collection. And if you want to know something really tremendously exciting, it’s a holographic one, and the picture on the front says it’s of a Celtic Guardian, not that I can actually tell you with any particular certainty what that might be.
And this is the exciting link between Yu-Gi-Oh and Tazos: there is a new line of Tazos featuring Yu-Gi-Oh pictures. I realise that this is quite mindwrenchingly exciting, to the extent that it may blow your brain, but I just felt you had to know.