The Great Wuh Huh Huh Debate!

- by Owen Morton

I’d like to start this article by apologising for the distinctly few articles which appeared last month. This was largely due to me being rather busy with various stuff – an exam, an increased workload (if you can believe that) and other things which are frankly more important than the maintenance of a website which delights in inanity. Still, I’ve managed to put a little time aside this evening to write a new article, though, at a wild guess, I’d say there won’t be too many more articles over this month, because – as I have intimated – there is a lot of other more important stuff going on in my life right now. (In fact, if anyone wants to write articles themselves over this next month or two, I’d be very grateful: submit them to my email address, which is at the bottom of the front page, although I’d guess if you’re visiting this website, you already know my email address.)

Anyway, the subject which we are here to discuss this evening is one which is extremely interesting and important. Very few of you will be aware of the Great Wuh Huh Huh Debate, but it is one which must be resolved before the walls of western civilisation crumble about us as a result.

There is a Wuh Huh Huh song about which the debate revolves. I am in good authority to inform you of exactly how the song goes, because I made it up. Here it is:

It’s perfectly clear, isn’t it? I’d include the appropriate tune if I knew how to write music and if Geocities was capable of including such inscriptions on its websites, but you’ll just have to do without. I think you get the general idea. If it helps, I can tell you which tune it goes to, but it’s a little obscure. Well, actually, I think it’s not obscure at all, it’s just I don’t know what it’s called, only where I know it from. In the early 1990s, there was a Ladybird book about Robin Hood and featuring an irritating character called Dicken (presumably for the purpose of making bad puns along the lines of “Where the Dickens is he?”), which came with a audio tape. The music used on that tape is the music to which one sings the Wuh Huh Huh song.

All very interesting, you think. Or perhaps you don’t. In fact, you probably don’t. You probably think, “Oh dear, Owen’s really gone this time” and reach out for the phone to summon the local funny farm to come and take me away. If that is your reaction, please hold on to the end of the article, as all will become clear. If you’re still doubtful of my sanity by the end of the article, feel free to phone the psychiatrists to come and get me. Actually, don’t feel free to do anything of the kind, because if you’re now thinking I’m mental, you’re unlikely to be convinced otherwise by the end of the article, especially considering the direction in which I’m now about to go.

Now, there are some evil heretics (namely, my father and my sister) who insist that I’ve got the Wuh Huh Huh Song wrong. I personally cannot see how this can be, since I made it up. However, they are adamant in their belief that the Wuh Huh Huh Song in fact goes in a different way. I find the alternative version so repugnant that I cannot stand to see it actually written on my website, but for the purpose of this debate, it’s necessary that you’re able to read it. Therefore, I’ve written it in black text, so if you think you can stomach the idea of reading it, then you should just highlight the next few lines, then it’ll become visible.

So, without further ado, here is the alternative – and definitively wrong – version of the Wuh Huh Huh Song. Only highlight it if you feel strong enough to take it.