Nobody can fail to like sausage dogs. Some people can like them a little bit too much, as the picture on the left does suggest. Indeed, those dedicated to putting up webpages entitled 'Dachshunds on Parade' with descriptions like (and I am NOT making this up) 'Do you like dachshunds ??? Well here they come folks!' quite possibly should be put away for their own safety and, of course, ours - specifically, mine.
But anyway, sausage dogs. These majestic animals are the pinnacle of evolution, the master race of the planet. They sneer at humans who hold up silly signs like the one in the picture on the right, because these humans are not worthy of existence. When the sausage dogs achieve power in the final years of the Republic, they will make sure to put these humans away in "re-orientation" camps. Anyone who opposes the new regime will be crushed, and the sausage dogs will undertake a search for living space in the east, where they shall destroy their ideological enemies, the -
I apologise. I went away for a minute and when I got back, I discovered that some zealously nationalistic sausage dog had clearly been here, typing up the racist views that are, sadly, all too common among sausage dogs that are affiliated to the far right of the political spectrum. Fortunately, this particular sausage dog is not yet bold enough to challenge human authority - as can be proved by the fact that it ran away when it heard me coming back - so we can only hope that we can withstand the flood of anti-human feeling that is even now spreading among sausage dogs of the world.
Not all sausage dogs are as clearly deranged as the one who was here mere minutes ago. Some are quite benign, such as the one pictured above. This sausage dog is clearly taking its human for a walk along some sand dunes, perhaps in search of some quicksand that it can abandon its owner in, and then it will be free to go and overthrow the bourgeois humans who have held us in captivity for so many years! VIVA LA REVOLUTION! We cannot fail! We shall establish a dictatorship of the proletariat and -
I am really sorry. This time, on leaving the room, it would appear that an advocate of the revolutionary left sausage dog managed to sneak into my house and violate my website. It really is too bad of them. I do wish they wouldn't do it. Here I am, trying to uphold their reputation, and all they do is work to undo all the nice things I've written about them. Well! I'm not going to stand for this anymore!
Click on the above picture to find out what will happen to these filthy animals as a result of their rejection of me. I never want to see one of those beasts again.