Lots of people have asked me what a mairpus is, so I thought I would put up a website to tell them. On the left is an artist's impression of a typical mairpus, magnified many thousands of times. A mairpus is a microscopic organism which glows green. Lots and lots of mairpii (the plural of mairpus is mairpii) can bond together to create a creature that looks very much like an individual mairpus, but is hundreds and hundreds times more powerful.
Regretably, mairpii are not benevolent creatures, and will do anything they can to disrupt the normal flow of human life. Fortunately, they can only bind together into their larger counterparts on one day every fifty years, and this occurred in 1995, so the next outbreak of mairpii swarming our streets will not happen now until 2045. When in 1995 the mairpii appeared, there was terror in many cities all over the world as they maliciously destroyed many of our finest monuments. However, all authorities denied that the mairpii exist, and there is a huge cover up. Most of those people who were present at the time the mairpii appeared were brainwashed into forgetting what they had seen. Fortunately for historical accuracy, one photograph of the mairpii does exist, and it can be seen just how dangerous these creatures are.
There are those humans who worship the mairpii as minor deities, but these humans are very much in the minority and they have little influence. However, it should be noted that some of the more fanatical of these humans are actively working to restore the mairpii to an earlier stage in their evolution, when they were able to bind together all of the time. If this were to happen, the mairpii would be able to go on the rampage at any time they liked, and human beings would probably be wiped out within a very short space of time.
These fanatical humans need to be stopped. This can only be achieved by writing to the BBC and asking them to help. Do this by clicking on this link: Email the BBC!
Always remember the old children's rhyme which warns of the perils of trusting mairpii:
Mairpus, mairpus, never touch,
It can hurt you very much.