With the end of school for ever for me this afternoon, I spent a little bit of time going through my notes that I made over the two years I did my A levels, and I came across some pretty interesting stuff. Psychology was always a lesson in which my friend Peter and I rarely did much work until we needed to, and consequently we spent a great deal of time, especially in the first year, playing silly games such as Hangman. Some of the Hangmans (or Hangmen?) we produced were quite amusing as well, and they shall be appearing, in installments, over the next few articles. However, to begin the stream of Psychology-inspired gibberish that shall be placed on this site over the next weeks, I present a song dedicated to my friend Jonathan Barker - the Dance of the Jonathan!
Listen to the dance of the Jonathan.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Wings flapping fast, very close to the sun.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Never seems to realise just what he's done.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Watch the ribbons flying in the wind in his hair.
But he never touches them; he wouldn't dare.
Everywhere around him he treats as his lair.
Listen to the song of the Jonathan.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Never keen to finish what he's begun.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Your happy every day, because you make fun.*
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Runs around the castle walls without any care.
Frequently annoyed by his mother's stare.
Him and Mussolini would have made a tidy pair.
Listen to the screams of the Jonathan.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
The gorillas that torment him with their gun.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Think of all the territories that he's won.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
To see him being nasty is particularly rare.
Drug deals through customs - "nothing to declare!"
Eating quite a bit more than his fair share.
* - this grammatically challenged phrase was taken from the Chinese pencil case of a friend of mine named Sunny, chiefly because it fit the rhyme and not because of any particular reason.
Jonathan expressed initial distaste for this wonderful song, but we suspect that he was actually quite flattered.