Chapter 1:
It had been an immensely hard day, and Captain Immense took off his immensely large cape, and sat down for an immensely enjoyable evening in front of an immensely hot fire. He cooked some immensely tasty sausages over the immensely hot fire, and enjoyed eating them immensely. He was just falling into an immensely satisfying sleep when his immensely black telephone rang. He sighed immensely, and picked it up, holding the immensely delicate instrument in his immense hand.
“Hello? Captain Immense here.”
“Hello, Captain Immense. This is your rival, Captain Unimmense, here. I have set in motion a scheme to blow up the world! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha haa!”
“You can’t do that.”
“Oh yes I can.”
“Oh no you can’t.”
“Oh yes I can.”
“Oh no you can’t.”
“I’ve already done it, so evidently I can.”
“How do I know you’re not lying?”
“Captain Immense, it’s up to you to save the world from my evil scheme, whether you like it or not.”
Captain Immense took his immensely large cape in his other immense hand, and prepared to put it on again. “All right, Captain Unimmense. I want just the facts.”
“I’ve put a time bomb in the middle of the world. If you can’t disarm it, it’ll blow up in ten minutes!”
“Oh, bugger,” said Captain Immense, and dropped the phone back onto its hook. It smashed, but it didn’t matter.
If Captain Immense couldn’t get to the middle of the world within the next nine and a half minutes, nothing would matter anymore.
Chapter 2:
Captain Immense stole an immensely powerful drill from the roadworks on Abbey Road, and began to drill through the immensely strong concrete on the pavement. Within seven and a half minutes, he had reached the middle of the world, with only two minutes to spare!
He looked around. He’d never been here before. Wow, was it immense! It was just - well, it was just immense. He’d never seen anything quite so immensely immense as this before.
He shook himself. There would be time to examine this immense immenseness later. Now, he had to find the time bomb.
Fortunately, it wasn’t too hard to locate, on account of it being so immense. He easily disarmed it, then turned around to go.
There, blocking his path, was Captain Unimmense!
“You villain!” said Captain Immense, immensely furiously. “I’ve never known anyone quite so immensely unimmense as you!”
“Why thank you,” cackled the evil evildoer evilly.
Captain Immense hit him, and Captain Unimmense died. Captain Immense, ever aware of the need to bring the story to a rapid conclusion, went home and lived immensely happily ever after.