History lessons were, as compared to Psychology, frequently interesting, especially the early ones about the 1920's and 30's in Russia. However, that did not make them less prone to stupid things being made up about them - although, in History, Peter and I tended to make up the things after the lesson and not during.
The Bolshevik survey was one of these things. It purports to be a survey undertaken by Party officials in November 1938, when Stalin was at the height of his purges in which 1 in 18 of the Soviet population died or was deported to a labour camp (or frequently, both). Some knowledge of the period may be required to understand some of the questions.
Please take the time to complete our survey so we can find how we can continue to offer you the very best of Bolshevism! Please ring the responses indicated by your local Party official!
1. Was Karl Marx good?
Yes
No
2. Was Lenin good?
Yes
No
3. Is Comrade Stalin good?
Yes
No
4. Is that filthy lowdown lying cheating scum Trotsky good?
No
No
5. Explain why your answer to Question 4 was 'No'.
Trotsky claims that Comrade Stalin has perverted the course of true Communism
Trotsky organised the assassination of Kirov, my favourite Party official
Trotsky says that Comrade Stalin created the Stalin School of Falsification
Trotsky hasn't got a rather dishy daughter
There weren't any other options
All of the above
6. Who assassinated Kirov?
Trotsky
Kirov
Comrade Stalin
Nikolayev
7. Who was by Lenin's right hand side during the Revolution?
Comrade Stalin
Comrade Stalin
Comrade Stalin
Comrade Stalin
8. Should Hitler be allowed to assassinate Comrade Stalin?
Yes, he should, and I would like to be taken to a nice secure facility in an Arctic labour camp
No
9. Has anyone in your immediate family disappeared mysteriously recently?
No! Why should they! My family have always been loyal to Comrade Stalin!
Yes, actually, and I've been intending to report their disappearance to the police
No, sadly
10. Why did Kamenev and Zinoviev betray Comrade Stalin?
Quite personally, I don't think they did. I think they were framed
Because they were filthy excuses for Communists
Because they really thought they were doing the right thing at the time, but after persuasion it was revealed to them that they weren't, but by then it was too late
11. Who wrote this: "Koba, why do you need me to die?"
Bukharin
Trotsky
Kamenev
Zinoviev
All of the above
12. Why did they write it?
Because they were fearing for their miserable existence
To put the wind up Comrade Stalin
For a distinctly unfunny joke
13. What happened to them shortly after they wrote it?
They died, of course
All of the above
14. Do you agree with the very good policy of collectivisation?
Yes
No, and I am a peasant
15. Would you like to impale a peasant on the end of a pitchfork?
Yes, please
No, thank you
At your place or mine?
16. Would you like the Republicans or the Nationalists to win the Spanish Civil War?
The Republicans
The Nationalists
Both
Neither
All of the above
17. Was Lenin a ruthless dictator?
I think it couldn't possibly be argued that Lenin was not a ruthless dictator, as it is perfectly clear from the reflection off his coffin that the sun is rising in the west, thus symbolically suggesting that Lenin was a ruthless dictator and now that he is dead the sun is rising on a new age for Russia under the totally liberal regime of Comrade Stalin
Yes
No
18. Is Comrade Stalin a ruthless dictator?
No
No
19. Would Trotsky have been a ruthless dictator if he had become the ruthless dictator of Russia?
Most likely, but not necessarily
I think probably so
Almost certainly
20. Do you think Tukhachevsky is doing a good job?
Yes
No
Comrade Stalin should purge him and the entire Armed Forces
21. In a fight between the USSR and Nazi Germany, who would win?
The USSR
Germany
All of the above